Why Meetings Suck if Bullies Speak

When bullies pop an irate question or cynics insist on opinions that provoke anger at meetings, thoughts of brain chemicals may be far from your mind. Yet a cynical word or a diminishing gesture to even one group member, can alter an entire room’s mental chemistry with speeds of lightning strikes to an iron rod on a barren hill.

Without warning, your amygdala reacts to tone problems tossed into communications in meetings. If your meetings end in gridlocks or if you leave a roundtable disheartened after a discussion, you likely know what I mean.

In toxic workplaces you rarely find meetings where serotonin fuels creativity, builds openness to change, and regulates moods that impact confidence to lead even in tough times.

Have you ever compared a meeting where people use good tone skills to build a shared vision – to one where someone vents or vies for notice? Just as the human brain builds forward with serotonin for innovative exchanges, it also shuts down creativity with altered chemicals such as cortisol.

Does that mean people must agree on controversial topics? No – the opposite is actually true. To  disagree in fact offers amazing new zest for genius, when you build goodwill across differences.

Tone skills shape words to create calm under pressure.  The same communication proclivities within human brains,  also balance mental chemistry, and can make or break your group’s outcomes.

Neglect brain chemicals at meetings, and courtesy rarely remains as part of communication. When somebody slights your sensibility, you’ll simply toss rude barbs back, from stored reactions in your brain.

One way to regulate cortisol and slow a bully’s damage is to model tone for curiosity over contention, and show how you learn from those who differ.  Yes, even those who come with crankier tone.

Ignore cortisol levels, though, and you can expect people with weaker tone skills to react rudely whenever  harmful hormones surge during disagreements.

Before your next meeting, why not try a brief tone test to help create deeper understanding out of differences. Then lean on your own genius transparency to rebuild the trust your meeting needs if it is to lead innovation.

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