Three Rules for Receiving Feedback

 
Daniel Woodgate (boxer)

Is this how people see you when they give you feedback?

I give way more feedback than I get.  I thoroughly enjoy providing feedback to my employees, but I struggle with receiving feedback.  Even it is positive feedback, it usually makes me uncomfortable and that fact probably makes it uncomfortable for the person providing the feedback.  This is something that I will be trying to improve upon throughout 2012.  I have put a little thought into what needs to be done to improve, and here are some of the items I will be working on:

  1. Not Being Defensive:  In a previous post I tried to explain the difference between taking things personally and being defensive.  In my mind (and perhaps only in my mind) these are two very different things.  Taking things personally means I care.  That’s a good thing.  As managers we want our people to care.    Being defensive refers to a situation where I feel like I am being personally attacked so I feel the need to defend my actions.  Many times this feeling can stem from a simple question or the simple question could be a veiled attack.  Either way, becoming defensive will rarely help the situation.  I think the best way to diffuse this is let the other person know that you hear them; you understand they are upset and you want to help.  Truly try to listen to them and see if there is a way you can address their concern.  Listen to the actual problem and see if you can brainstorm a solution to the problem.  Don’t focus on right and wrong (rarely is there an absolute right or wrong), focus on problems and solutions instead.
  2. Seek Specific Examples – This is probably the most important thing on this list.  I cannot easily count how many times someone has told me that a client is unhappy and we need to improve our level of service.  What does that mean?  My company offers over 100 different services, I need to know which services they are unhappy with.  Are they unhappy with our customer service, or maybe they are unhappy with our pricing, or perhaps we messed up their invoice.  In order to fix any problem, you need to gather as many specifics as you can.  You do not want to spin your wheels fixing things that are not broken.  Even if someone is giving you positive feedback, you want to make sure that you understand exactly what they are pleased about.  In order to continue doing the good work that I am doing, I need to understand what exactly I am doing so well.  Ask clarifying questions.
  3. Respond to Content, Not Tone – Sometimes a raving lunatic may raise a good point.  Try to calm them and get the content of their concern.  Ignore the tone and focus on the message.  This is far easier said than done, but it is something that we all need to master.  This is just self-control.  Don’t let yourself get sucked into a confrontation.  Learn to recognize it and make a conscious effort to keep your cool while trying to define the actual issue.

So that is my plan, I hope some of these points may help you as well.

There are a couple of things that I am curious about:

–          Does positive feedback make anyone else uncomfortable? 

–          Do you have any other tricks for receiving feedback?

–          Do you give more feedback than you get?

–          For those of you that are currently managers, how would you like your employees to respond differently when you are proving feedback? 

One another note, I tried my hand at guest blogging.  My first guest post was published this morning and you can find it here.

Have a great Monday!  Please comment and share this post with anyone you think might find it useful.

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