voice in the head tells a story that the body believes in and reacts
to. Those reactions are the emotions. The emotions, in turn, feed the
energy back to the thoughts that created the emotion in the first place.
This is the vicious circle between unexamined thoughts and emotions,
giving rise to emotional thinking and emotional story-making.” Eckhart Tolle
Beliefs are potent because they drive behavior. Behind every action, decision and communication are beliefs.
Your beliefs are made up of thousands
of (mostly) unexamined thoughts that you have suffused with emotional
content since childhood. Some beliefs are more charged than
others because they carry core emotional content. Often they are tied
to early childhood needs that are unsatisfied and unresolved. Sometimes
they fade due to adult experience and emotional maturity – but often
they do not.
Belief, a thing so powerful that it can inspire life and death, has only recently been studied as part of the emerging field of social neuroscience. “Belief
has been a most powerful component of human nature that has somewhat
been neglected,” says Peter Halligan, a psychologist at Cardiff
University. “But it has been capitalized on by marketing agents,
politics and religion for the best part of two millennia.”
Fortunately, that’s changing. Scientists are now working to understand a neurological model of how beliefs are formed and how they affect us.
The studies of
Matthew Lieberman, a psychologist at the University of California,
shows how beliefs help people’s brains categorize others and view
objects as good or bad, largely unconsciously. He demonstrates that
beliefs (in the case of his study on prejudice or fear) are most likely
to be learned from the prevailing culture.
Your beliefs, or habits of mind, are sometimes based on ideas that support you.
I am capable of continuous self-improvement.
Other people are trying to do the best they can at work.
I can find the time I need to accomplish what I truly want.
And your beliefs, which are mostly out of your conscious awareness, can sap you of your energy and limit your choices.
I’m a Type A personality, I can’t change my impatience.
People are just not as committed as I am to producing high quality work.
No matter what I do, there is never going to be time to get things done.
On any given day, we’re driven by this
entire network of beliefs that control what we do – and how we do it.
Largely, these beliefs are unexplored and unchallenged. They form the
basis of our assumptions and expectations about our own lives, other
people’s experience – and what is happening in the world.
Walls of Protection
of your beliefs as Walls of Protection. Constructed mostly from early
experiences and reinforced – by you – and your culture over time. Unless
you identify and question the validity of a belief, it will continue to
permeate your experience.
These Walls of Protection can only offer superficial relief. They can never satisfy the real need that lies behind every belief. So in a sense, we become prisoners of our own beliefs. Bound up within an intricate web of interrelated beliefs, systems are created that can only be untangled, bit by bit.
Dr. Lieberman’s UCLA research showed, many beliefs are learned from the
prevailing culture. All of us are subject to multiple cultural
influences, especially at young impressionable ages. The impact of
cultural influence is particularly strong when emotional investment is
high. Families, schools, religious institutions and peer relations are
fundamental – and no one escapes their influence.
adults, workplace cultures play an important role in impacting and
reinforcing beliefs. Workplace cultures, which are the aggregate of the
emotions, attitudes, beliefs, values, ethics, and behaviors of the
people who work there, and the organization itself, are huge
transmitters of cultural norms (beliefs).
we are at work, we’re usually either swimming in sync with the
prevailing beliefs of our group or organization, or fighting an uphill
battle against them. Managers and consultants often talk about alignment as a critical tool for organizational success. But individual beliefs must first be self-aligned before they can be “onboard” with the collective goals and values of an organization.
Your Brain on Beliefs Can’t Tell the Difference
There’s growing evidence of the intractable nature of our beliefs. According to a Newsweek report on a ‘09 study on examining faith and beliefs, author Lisa Miller wrote, “Belief
in God, disbelief in God, and belief in simple empirically verifiable
facts all lit up the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the area of the
brain that governs your sense of self. We are, in some sense, what we believe.”
That’s why understanding the beliefs
that shape the way we relate to others, conduct our work and make our
decisions are critical in terms of the way we perform at work! We spend
countless hours learning new information, adopting the latest
technologies and implementing strategies to upgrade our work processes.
Yet, underneath it all are old beliefs that often undermine change and
impede true progress.
Why do we seem to have such a curious lack of interest in what forms the very foundation of how we live?
How many of our beliefs about change prevent us from changing – or even considering it?
Could it be that many of our beliefs (even the unpleasant ones) offer us comfort by reinforcing our world views?
A Handful of Limiting Beliefs
beliefs are “core” beliefs meaning that they are central to many of the
things we do and most important – feel. Think of core beliefs as
having many branches that enable smaller, intertwined beliefs. If you
want to chip away at core beliefs, take aim at the smaller branches
- There is never enough time to do all the things I need/want to do – This nearly epidemic belief is terribly debilitating. This thinking creates a time famine mindset
where nothing we do can ever be enough. We live our bottomless to-do
lists in an ever exhausting spiral of disappointment and frustration.
Often, every thing suffers, especially our own well-being. We jump from task to task under the illusion that our multi-tasking works.
- Other people don’t care (or can’t do) the work as well as I can. While
some people are very upfront about this belief, most of us don’t like
to fess up to this one. But it is often the belief that lurks behind –
micro-managing, blame, judgment, “perfectionism,” criticism and second
guessing of others. This belief is toxic to self and others.
- I can change my boss, my co-workers and my organization
– I’m not exaggerating when I say that 75% of our seminar participants
and coaching clients start out believing this. And the “tools” they
say they want to work with others are often a euphemism for ways to
change other people. This belief is very resistant to change – for
obvious reasons. While I am not suggesting we can’t use our skills to
positively influence others to change, or improve certain circumstantial givens – we have to be very clear on when we are trying to impose our delusion of control.
- It’s everyone else’s fault including my company’s – Some things are the fault
of others, or the system we work in. Plenty of people have challenging
co-workers and work in toxic organizations. The question is where we
draw the line between our own responsibility (to ourselves, others and
our workplace) and that of uncontrollable external situations. Blame
accomplishes little, especially when it freezes us to the action
necessary to improve our circumstances and those around us.
- I need to take care of other people first – This is a deeply rooted belief that shows up in many ways. Its origins come from the “I’m not worthy, I’m not enough,” early childhood impressions. It can also come from the “I’m the only one capable of doing it,”
core belief. Bottom line is that it places an enormous burden on the
believer. This is the person who is always doing – always working –
always trying to get things done and make things happen. It’s exhausting
and endless. This believer forgets that in order to be truly
productive, you need to care for yourself – first
“The pain pushes until the vision pulls.” Michael B. Beckwith
it isn’t until we are stretched to the max or worse that we change.
Pain, after all, is a great motivator. We are also hard-wired with a
tendency to resist change until the pain of not changing has a higher
price tag. We have beliefs about all of these things.
But change isn’t magical. Yes, sometimes experience over time does change us – although
it’s not always simple or easy. When we choose to explore (you can
explore without making a “commitment”) and shift our beliefs, we do
exercise the only control we really have – our thinking.
Unearthing old dysfunctional beliefs is powerful. It can be the key to changing what we perceive, how we behave and most important – how we feel.
As always, I invite you to share your comments. Your thoughts, readership, tweets and shares are appreciated.
Louise Altman, Intentional Communication Partners