Day of the Stollaks
I’m a chump. I suggested we use the picture above to give the Ides of March an upgrade. Matt Stollak posted a thing about 25 cult movies to see before you die or whatever, and this picture was the header. I suggested HR bloggers should write a short thing about whatever this picture reminds you of related to HR and post it in honor of Matt Stollak Day, which is just another fake Hallmark HR holiday like Tim Sackett Day, but you know how that goes.
Here’s my HR short story for Matt, inspired by the awesome ?? photo above.
The Day of the Doctor
One day on the campus of Michigan State University, a naive young student named Matthew was going to his first HR class inside when Kedzie Hall when he noticed a peculiar thing in the front of the classroom. He blinked, and rubbed his eyes a few times, and then utilizing all available data points, confirmed his hypothesis.
He was looking at an enormous talking head. This head was huge, with a professorial beard and thick glasses, and it spouted HR jargon and strange words like Cray Supercomputer, and Ford and performance measurement systems with careless abandon.
Young Matthew gathered all his courage and approached the giant talking head, and said: “Excuse me SIr, but who in the bloody hell are you?”
The giant head gave Matt the hair eyeball once-over and snorted. ”I am the tenured giant ego of MSU. You may call me Dr. Moore.”
At that moment, Young Matthew’s fate was sealed. He decided then and there that someday, he too would grow up and become known as …the Doctor…and he would have his own day named after him. That day is today.
The Day of the Stollaks…