Hello this post is a little psychological and that is where my head has been. I’ve been developing a series of Managerial Leadership Coaching training and development modules for an amazing client. Your feedback is always requested and welcomed. Email Me or call me 1-716-629-3678. Together we will make your team and leaders better!
I have been developing a series of Managerial Coaching Trainings and workshops, and this question always leads to a discussion of language and how its use can reinforce or eliminate beliefs, problems, thoughts, behaviors, etc…
How do you describe the absence of a problem?
On the surface it sounds obvious, the absence of the problem is described by me telling you that the problem is no longer present.
But knowing that you have been successful at getting rid of something is difficult, the absence of something is hard to know.
For example lets say you are a Manager and you know that one of your self-limiting behaviors Negative Temperament (-T) is your temper. Your know that your fuse is short and you are known around the office to SCREAM when you are set off. This behavior is really blocking you from being successful and has been pointed out as the main reason you have been passed over for that promotion you deserved and wanted; This is a problem.
Let’s try to image the absence of the feeling that you are going to lose your temper and SCREAM. How do you do that?
Is it like imagining the absence of the computer you are reading this on? Do you imagine just staring at the wall or using a different computer? An empty space on your desk?
Admit it, you are comparing staring at an empty space with reading this on the computer you are imagining in absent. The same things are involved in imagining the absence of your short fuse. It always involves comparing the absence of your temper with the presence of feeling non-temperamental. By default thinking about your temper and SCREAMING enters into your thoughts for a needed comparison. This may lead to a continuation of your temper problem!
On to the inquiry;
If the above is true, how do you solve problems without the inevitable comparison, which reinforces the thought of the problem?
What do you think? Please share your ideas.
michael cardus is create-learning
image by by crsan – christianholmer.com