Influence, Positional Bargaining and Relationships

Everyone wants to have
influence; not everyone wants to build the relationships that enable it.

There’s a natural flow to being
influential. 

Agreement_kidsromance  Influence
goes hand in hand with agreements. If you want to persuade someone to
take a particular course of action, you need some agreements about what
needs to be done and who will do it. That means taking time to reach an
understanding about what is important to each of you. And that means
building a working relationship.

Positional bargaining happens when one persons lays out
a case and the other counters with an argument in favor of his or her
own position. This sets up a “mine is bigger than yours” scenario which
most often leads to conflict where:

  • The side wielding the
    most power, wins
  • The loser resents the
    loss

If you are “in it”
for the long run, think about this:

Unless you’re willing to meet with a
parole officer regularly, you can’t get wha you want by beating up who you need.

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Steve has designed and delivered leadership and communication programs for some of the world's largest organizations, and has more than 30 years in training, development, and high-level executive coaching. His Roesler Group has created and delivered leadership and talent development internationally for corporations such as Pfizer, Minerals Technologies, Johnson & Johnson, NordCarb Oy Ab, and Specialty Minerals--Europe. Steve is currently involved in the latest update of his Presenting With Impact program, a cross-cultural presentations workshop that has been delivered on five continents to more than 1,000 participants representing nearly 60 nationalities.

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Influence, Positional Bargaining and Relationships

Everyone wants to have influence; not everyone wants to build the relationships that enable it.

There’s a natural flow to being influential. 

Agreement_kidsromance  Influence goes hand in hand with agreements. If you want to persuade someone to take a particular course of action, you need some agreements about what needs to be done and who will do it. That means taking time to reach an understanding about what is important to each of you. And that means building a working relationship.

Positional bargaining happens when one persons lays out a case and the other counters with an argument in favor of his or her own position. This sets up a “mine is bigger than yours” scenario which most often leads to conflict where:

  • The side wielding the most power, wins
  • The loser resents the loss

If you are “in it” for the long run, think about this:

Unless you’re willing to meet with a parole officer regularly, you can’t get what you want by beating up who you need.


Link to original post

Avatar

Steve has designed and delivered leadership and communication programs for some of the world's largest organizations, and has more than 30 years in training, development, and high-level executive coaching. His Roesler Group has created and delivered leadership and talent development internationally for corporations such as Pfizer, Minerals Technologies, Johnson & Johnson, NordCarb Oy Ab, and Specialty Minerals--Europe. Steve is currently involved in the latest update of his Presenting With Impact program, a cross-cultural presentations workshop that has been delivered on five continents to more than 1,000 participants representing nearly 60 nationalities.

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