Discomfort has been one of my greatest teachers.
Let me explain.
I’ve shared before that I pick a theme word for the year instead of making New Year’s resolutions. It helps remind me of what I want to be, do, feel, and stand for in the coming year. One of my previous words was “own” because I wanted to focus on owning my value and expertise, owning my principles and boundaries, and owning my true authenticity and everything that organically makes me, ME.
So many of us struggle in life because we constantly put others before ourselves.
We put pleasing others before our own personal values, boundaries, and principles.
I don’t want them to not like me, or get angry, or be disappointed, so I’ll say yes even though I have a twinge inside telling me I should have said no.
That little twinge makes me uncomfortable.
All the mismatched jobs I held in my life were uncomfortable.
The educational pursuits that didn’t quite feel right were uncomfortable.
My marriage felt uncomfortable.
Saying yes to someone even though I know I should say no is uncomfortable.
But I see now that uncomfortable is exactly what I needed to feel in order to take a step toward building a life of authenticity.
What is making you uncomfortable in your life right now—a relationship, a job, a commitment that you really shouldn’t have taken on?
It’s hard to build a very successful business and life when we’re feeling out of integrity with ourselves, or out of alignment with our core values.
You can still be kind, be fair, and approach all situations with a loving heart, but still own what you intrinsically believe and hold up as true for you.
I want you to do something right now. Take out a piece of paper and write down the things that are true about you.
It may include things like these:
I am compassionate but not a pushover.
I am energized by creativity.
I have something of value to offer the world.
I am an independent spirit that needs freedom to discover my bliss.
I need to be respected.
I will keep moving forward and pursuing action no matter the circumstance.
I need to guard myself from those who might take advantage of me.
I am an emotional being and need a healthy outlet for that emotion.
Whatever it is that is true of you, OWN it and don’t back down.
When everything around you seems to be falling apart, you need that solid ground of your authenticity.
When I was in the midst of seeking who I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to do, and where I was supposed to be doing it in my life, I knew deep down that where I was right then was not true to me.
That’s when I knew things had to change.
I just had to get past that place where I was terrified, worried, unsure… and, truthfully, in a lot of emotional pain. I had to trust the stirring in my heart that I was meant for more.
Whatever your feelings of discomfort are, I challenge you to rip the Band-Aid off right now and look at them. Stop numbing your feelings of guilt about abandoning your current situation. Stop thinking that you somehow don’t deserve to be happy.
Trust the stirring inside you. There is no shame in admitting that something is not right for you. Identify the problem, make a plan to change, and then take action.
I know this is a tough process that will test you in ways you have never been tested before. But this is the work that will pave the way for a better, happier you. I promise. Stick with it and you’ll see yourself starting to grow into the person you are meant to be.
Happiness and fulfillment in this life is your birthright.
You are meant for so much more.