Goodbye, Marley. OR: Get Thee Behind Me, 2009

Phew…. I mean, seriously??  2009?  What the hell happened to us?  How many of us are still in the same job they were in when this whole mess started? (Okay, so it started in the middle of  ’08, but shit last year was long).

More to the point: now that things are getting better* in the
economy**, how long are you planning on staying in your job?  There are
signs that a lot of the folk who avoided getting laid-off*** last year,
and handed the workload(s) of their laid-off colleagues, are starting
to look around for new opportunities.

So, a couple of thoughts on that:

  • The grass is in no way greener. It’s just farther away, and the
    sun’s playing funny tricks on your eyes. The companies you’re drooling
    over almost invariably did the same thing to their employees as your’s
    did to you.  The cut costs, survived, made the people who survived
    their rounds of lay-offs work like a demon, didn’t give out raises or
    bonuses, etc.
  • If people do start jumping ship – yay! musical jobs time!!  Here’s
    the difference: unlike in the actual game, where you aren’t allowed
    back in to get a chance at a chair once your out, in the musical jobs
    game, you can jump right back in.  In other words – start dancing.  Get
    your info out there, remind your networks you exist (they got drunk
    over the holidays and forgot you.  Seriously.  Get back in their faces).

I’m going to start publishing my tips/ anger/ general frothiness
about the predicated churn as the quarter progresses.  I’ll have more
tips, etc along the way.  Here’s one:

If your cover letter starts off like this, you’re in trouble:

“I read the requirements for the
Position on-line. Here are some highlights of how my qualifications
might match the requirements necessary”

This is the equivalent of me writing to the lottery, and saying “I
read someone won some Money. Here are some numbers that might match the
balls that rolled out of the hopper”. 

*”They” say things are getting better- and I don’t know exactly who
They are, but you know who I mean. Or don’t.  It’s the same thing.

**Which is driven by human emotion, so it’s about as predictable as
your 98-year-old, senile Great-Aunt Mildred behind the wheel for one
last freedom ride.

***What – exactly – does that mean?  It sounds dirty.  I prefer the
UK phrasing: “made redundant”.  It implies that scary robots have come
in and taken over my job,  and I’m redundant.  Which is at least
interesting in a sci-fi, time to fight for humanity’s survival sort of
way.  As opposed to us over-sexed Americans.  We should be prude, like
the Europeans.

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