More and more as managers and professionals go up the ladder and gain more responsibility, they focus on listening.  A case in point that I referred to in a previous blog is Teresa Taylor, COO of Quest.  Taylor admitted that very often, rather than listen, she was formulating ideas in her head.  But as she gained more responsibilities, she had to get things done through other people.  And that meant influencing people.  And as she said, listening is key to influencing people.  In other words, if you don’t understand another’s attitudes, priorities and commitments, you’re not going to be able to influence them.  Listening, then, is a primary means for understanding another person.

So how do you go about becoming a better listener?  Most people decide to “try harder” at listening.  But “trying harder” will bring little positive results.  Instead, effective listening is a distinct package of learnable skills and tools.

Easily, the most effective tool for listening is what I call an “implication response.”  The implication response is a particular form of listening.  It is a unique means of insuring that you’ve really understood what the other person–boss, colleague or subordinate–is actually saying and that you’re really listening.  Of course, you can respond with, “I hear you, ” or “OK. I get it,” or “I understand,” or something to the effect that “that makes sense to me.”  You can even clarify what the person has said, but nothing works as well, or is as accurate and precise as the implication response.

Since the skill assumes interaction and requires serious thought for the listener, I reserve it for important matters.  If the other person is talking about a task or relationship of importance, I’ll use it as a means of double-checking my listening and understanding.  Notice specifically, that an implication response goes beyond parroting or paraphrasing.  In the implication response, the recipient of a communication responds by describing what he or she is going to do, what is going to happen as a result of communication from another person.

An implication response includes two steps: a brief paraphrase, and a thoughtful statement of implications which inevitably gets a response of yes or no from the talker.

Let’s suppose you’ve worked up a proposal for a small process change in department.  You’re discussing the matter with Jane, who’s very close to your boss, and she gives you a direct message, telling you that you’re going to need the boss’s support to go forward in the process change.  Since this is an important matter for you, you engage Jane in implication responses.

First, the paraphrase, often ending with a slight question.  “So, Jane, I’ll have to get the boss’s support–even for a small process change like this one?”

Jane nods her head affirmatively, and you go on with the implication response.  “OK.  Based on what you’re telling me, that means two or three things:  First, I’ve probably got to redo my proposal.  Second, I’ve got to justify my recommendation with a fair amount of detail.  And, third, I’ve got to really sell these ideas to my boss, or I may as well stop what I’m doing right now.  Is that what you’re saying?”

You can see that by laying out the implications of Jane’s information, you let her decide whether or not you’ve really understood.  It provides her the opportunity to insure that your understanding–your listening–is right on.

Here are just a few of the scripts that can be applied to numerous situations as implication responses:

• In light of our discussion, here are what I see as the next steps.
• Base on what I’ve understood from you, I plan to attack the problem this way.
• As I understand your description of the problem, I intend to go about resolving it this way.
• Based on your explanation, I see the following drawbacks to that approach.

If, however, the person giving you the information disagrees with your implication response, then she can clear up the issue–and you can start over with implication responses.

I hope that two principles of listening are obvious from this discussion of the implication response.  First, listening is not a passive activity.  It’s not merely letting what a person says register in your gray matter.   It’s going to require both thinking and further interaction.  Second, and even more importantly, listening at its heart is fundamentally about questioning.  It’s questioning your understanding of what the other has said, and questioning the speaker in implication terms.

A caveat: It takes time to get used to listening this actively.  And framing implication questions is not always obvious.  Still, taking time up front to check out your listening will always save you time in the long run.  It’ll keep you from having to redo your misunderstandings and also build your reputation as a capable and thoughtful person.