Many people keep reactions and emotions bottled up inside repressing what they really feel until one day it is too late and they explode. They uncork a huge amount of emotion and suppressed feelings making the situation doubly as bad.
This behavior is quite common and done for various reasons. Some people do not like confrontation of any kind so they will hold in their true feelings to keep the peace. Others feel it’s inappropriate to respond to certain situations then will complain later about what happened. It is still bottled in, but dispersed in a different way.
Holding in emotions until you are set off and explode is something everyone has witnessed and I am pretty sure every person has done it at some point in their life. The fallout from these explosions is damaged relationships, broken trust and a full range of other negatives. The good news is in the end, whatever it is, is now on the table and whatever the issue, it can be dealt with. The bad news is the damage is done.
There is another insidious way to release pent up feelings, reactions and emotions and that is “sideways”. Acting in this manner is the “I am ok nothing is wrong attitude, but my actions show I’m upset”. It is displayed in body language, sarcastic or mean remarks, apathy and negligence. It is more insidious, because it comes out slowly in small little blows never fully releasing. It stays longer and continues to poison our mental well-being and damage relationships a lot longer. Instead of one big blowout you have a slow release of toxic feelings which become you.
Emotional intelligence and being in the moment
Using emotional intelligence (EI), you can honor your emotion then deal with the situation in real time and move through the pain or fear towards a resolution. This may initially be the hardest, but it is the most lasting for sustained health and better relationships. Deal with whatever you are feeling so you can overcome, live in a better state of mind and learn.
So, I challenge you to use EI and deal with your emotions and events in the present so they don’t seep out and slowly poison or explode and cause severe damage.
image courtesy: puliarf
Part I: A Primer on Emotional Intelligence by Derek Lauber
Part II: Emotional Intelligence at Work by Derek Lauber
Part III: How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence by Derek Lauber