Drama
A manager’s job is inherently stressful – that’s what makes
it fun; an opportunity; a challenge. But it can also be an emotional
rollercoaster.
My husband once worked for a manager who repeatedly called
his employees at home to discuss… nothing. I think it was his way of sorting
out all the ‘clutter’. (I kept wanting to grab the telephone and ask, “What Do
You Want From Them?!”)
When emotions run high and ‘thought clutter’ dominates my
brain, I have learned that it’s time to make a change. A change that starts
with me and the way I think.
You know how it works; you are aggravated because a rude,
opinionated customer complains to you – until you realize that his or her
feedback helped you solve a problem or improve a process.
Marlene Chism writes: “The
drama is the situation. Your drama
is how you react to it.”
I recently read her book Stop Workplace Drama and discovered
how relevant the topic is for managers. I learned that a drama-free workplace
is ‘peaceful and prosperous’.
That’s a matter-of-fact way to think about management, too: Great managers create peace and prosperity.
Getting Stuck Business is about relationships. Relationships that prosper. Illustration Me stuck in the drama triangle: – Lending an employee money (rescuer) – Feeling sorry for myself because I am overworked (victim) – Chewing someone out while feeling superior (persecutor) |
In the picture above, empowerment
describes the life outside the triangle. But I’m not a big fan of it. It’s like
the word leadership – not very practical.
Marlene makes the concept of empowerment actionable:
“The path to developing a great team and positive workplace
is empowerment. Leaders must be able to develop other creators. Creators take
responsibility. They don’t blame the economy, another person, or a situation. […]
‘Become a creator’ is a fancy way of saying take responsibility.”
It gets even better:
“Responsibility is the recognition of choice.”
|
I love that.
When emotions run high, I can identify the choices I have made,
own them, and move forward.
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