Consistently Inconsistent

Even with all the investment and effort in employee engagement and customer service it pretty much still stinks out here.

I have the pleasure of traveling all over the map and have the opportunity to experience a lot of organizational service touch points.

Consistently, all over the world, one of the most inconsistent service experiences is at restaurants.

Think about it. The most consistent inconsistent thing in the world. Service experiences.

Quite frankly, I’m not talking about a distinction between a casual dining environment and a five start Michelin celebrity chef experience. What I’m talking about is the consistent lack of common sense.

I don’t really care if the bill is $50 or $500 for the party, I always expect to be served by someone using common sense.

Unfortunately, this almost never happens consistently.

I am certainly a contaminated customer as I have expectations of common sense.

Or, said differently, the platinum rule; treat the customer as they would like to be treated.

As a customer, instead of getting irritated, I now give free customer service consulting.

I used to get upset and that got me nowhere.

I now use humor, and yes, heavy doses of common sense, and some would say an unrelenting quest for new content.

Let me give you just a few examples from a brief window of my last trip. I do not have enough time if I were to capture all the examples of poor service experiences during my last 10 days on the road. So, I’ll just talk about our 24 hours in Niagara Falls, Canada.

Breakfast: “Hi, Welcome to Blinkity Blink.” This experience was so hilarious I don’t want to talk about the person nor the chain as it could have just been a momentary brain lapse. If you would like a hint click here.

After our gracious greeting we were given a follow up line, which I had never heard before. She said, “I’m happy to seat you, however, I want to make you aware that it will be a minimum wait time of 10 minutes, maybe longer, before a server can come to your table.”

I have to admit, my major priority for entering this establishment was caffeine after an extremely late and emotionally charged planning session with my partner Steve. We each looked at each other bemusedly while I turned to our ever so polite hostess and said, “No problem, we both know what we want so we’ll just simply tell you.”

She took a step back and gasped in amazement.

“Oh no. I couldn’t do that. I would get in trouble,” She said.

Now it was getting fun.

So I said, “Oh, we wouldn’t want that now would we? How about I save you and the establishment time and money by walking my order directly back into the kitchen and politely telling your chef the items we’d like from the menu you have just given me?”

“Oh no. That certainly can’t happen.”

I said, “Ok. Since we’ve established you can’t help us and we have established we can’t help ourselves, let’s problem solve a way to get the one individual who is designated to take our order here quicker than the  minimum quote time of 10 minutes.”

I don’t think this is neither the greeting nor the expectation that this fine establishment wants their Director of First Impressions to be communicating.

I bet some place down the road this individual got hammered by a manger or got yelled at by a customer who had an undue wait without being told. Now, this hostess was using a blanket 10 minute wait warning as a way to cover her derriere.

I understand this. I just don’t like it as a customer.

Thankfully, we were able to creatively problem solve a server taking our order and facilitating our consumption of mass quantities of caffeine.

Being highly caffeinated made our next service interaction even more scintillating!

In our second interaction we were at a very high-end establishment on the 33rd floor with waterfall views and white glove service.

In addition to our management team having a meal, we wanted to extend our meeting discussions being the workaholics we are.  In order to talk business, we requested a table that was in a quiet area conducive to conversation.

The impeccably appointed and formally trained Maître D looked at me and said, “Sir, the section you are requesting is closed. It would be impossible to seat you and your party in the section you are requesting. I sincerely and profusely apologize that I cannot grant your request.”

I said, “Sir, please walk with me. Let’s you and I both assess the situation together. Do you see the table right here. The party of 4?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Could you please explain what is happening at that table,” I asked.

“Sir, I feel like you are being insulting, you know that they are eating and drinking,” he said.

“I apologize. Did one of your employees bring the beverages and the nourishment that is on that table to the party?” I asked.

“Well Sir, but of  course. Why would you ask such a ridiculous question,” he said indignantly.

I said, “Once again, I apologize. I am not trying to be rude. I am trying to understand. If you could be so kind as to answer one last question I believe we can solve this together.”

He said, “OK. As long as you promise to stop asking me more questions.”

I asked, “How many steps is it from that party of 4 to the table I am requesting?”

He said, “about 3 steps.”

I said, “I think we both agree that your server can take an additional 3 steps to accommodate our party and make me, the customer, happy,” as I pulled out my chair and sat down.

Within 15 minutes of our party occupying the “closed section” it was completely filled with other patrons.

The moral to the story; if you work for a manager or an organization that does not treat you well, you pretty  much only have the customer to take it out on.

Sadly, often times in dysfunctional organizations, saying NO is the only way an employee can feel good about themselves. I just wish they had a warning sign on the front door.

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