“We see things not as they are, but as we are.”
Meaning is in the Response You Get
We often deal with new
ideas, with changing how things are done, with trying to persuade others
about our point of view. The longer you’ve lived, the more you realize
the number of obstacles to people automatically accepting and absorbing
Maybe the greatest single stumbling block to real
communication is the one-sided nature of speaking.
I know that you already know about this:
intellectually. But let’s face it: Most of us concentrate on what to
say and how to say it. In our zeal to get our message across we forget
that at the other end of our message is a real, live person with her own
zeal, goals, and concerns. These may not coincide with ours, especially
at the moment when we are about to start communicating our new
So, Do This:
1. Openly acknowledge the areas of similarity
why you are together and what you hope to accomplish.
3. List the areas of
disagreement or fuzziness. Don’t discuss them yet, just list them.
4. Identify and work
through the items that have the least value or emotional attachment.
This creates a quick track record of successes.
5. Get to the tougher ones,
with this important element:
Explain why it is important to you.
It’s a lot easier to work
together when you understand the deeper issues involved. Without this,
you aren’t really operating at a human level–you are just exchanging
information whose underlying realities may be much more sympatico and
understandable than the statement given on the surface.
is in the response. The deeper, more honest the response, the
more chance you have of understanding the truth of each other’s reality.
How do you approach these
kinds of situations?
Leadership Carnival Alert! Thanks to Sharlyn Lauby, the Leadership Carnival Anniversary Edition is filled with advice and thoughts you won’t want to miss.