There’s some twisted thinking going on about building trusting relationships. It goes like this:
“If I make people happy by not disagreeing with them they will like me more. Then they’ll trust me more because I’m agreeable. Wow. Then when I need something or want something I’m more likely to get it. And if I’m a manager, that’s good.”
We trust people who have limits and beliefs, then care enough to state what they are. A relationship of “yeses” leaves us suspicious at best.
People don’t have to be disagreeable in order to disagree. We often respect someone who tells us not only that (s)he sees things differently, but who then takes time to calmly explain “why.” Taking time to explain “why” is a sign of respect toward us.
When you mean “yes” say “yes.” When you mean “no” say “no.” And share your reason.
In an era that seems to beg for leadership, become someone who people want to follow because they trust that you mean what you say. An honest “no” to others will get you an honest “yes” on their trust scale.