AT&T breaks guitars

One of the key tenets of Unmanagement is DELIGHT CUSTOMERS.

Companies that fail to delight customers will soon face a Customer Spring. Rather than gather in the main square, customers will take their business elsewhere. Many corporations will disappear not just from the Fortune 500 but from the face of the earth. I won’t shed a tear when this happens to #12, AT&T.

On Monday AT&T  installed their Uverse package (television, phone, internet) at my house.  In the process, they cut off the home phone number which I’ve had for more than twenty years. Too late to do anything about it, said the installer. He placed a new order for someone to come out to reinstall the number on Friday.

I waited all day yesterday for AT&T to arrive. They never came. They haven’t called. Or emailed.

When I try to reach AT&T by dialing 611, the automated phone tree won’t deal with me because it thinks the service order was completed yesterday. Trying to talk with a human put me into a holding patten because they are “experiencing heavier than normal call volumes.” After a while I took their advice and turned to the web.

The page ATT.COM/service responds with “Error. Page cannot be displayed. Please contact your service provider for more details. (1)”

After a while, I found another way in; the service request page told me, “Your request can’t be processed online. Our records indicate this account has a pending or recently completed service order.”

I went to the Uverse support page and tried to get something out of Charlie, my “AT&T Virtual Expert.”

Charlie was no help.

“You: No one came. I am without service.”

“Charlie: U-verse is an exciting product that combines digital TV, voice and Internet service. AT&T provides these services to your home through your existing wiring. To learn more, please click here.”

I returned to the main myAT&T page and found a button for Troubleshooting and Repair. I thought I’d found it. Alas, that service is down.

The number they list is the 611 line with its interminable waits. I’ve tried that six times now and I’m not going back.

All I can think to do is go one-to-many on this. Maybe they’ll read my Tweet. Or this rant.

Oh, the guitars? It’s a reference to United Breaks Guitars. After the song went viral on YouTube, United’s stock dropped $180 million on the Big Board. Perhaps I’ll write a song.

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