An open letter to Jessica Peter: Why I am no longer your Facebook friend

Dear Jessica

I noticed you have 887 friends on Facebook and that we have 117 friends in common. I probably accepted your friendship for that very reason because I know we’ve never met face-to-face.

I noticed you’re 24 years old and graduated from a high school with the same name as my high school in ’00. That would have made you 14 years old. Congrats on being a whiz kid. I noticed we also graduated from the same college in 2006 (congrats again for being a whiz kid).

Your bio looked real familiar to me:

…Now work virtually from my home office. I blog professionally about the social web, research and write about learning technologies, present, teach, and (sometimes) attend graduate school.

(Oh snap! It’s mine. Verbatim. From Facebook.) I’m flattered you’d find it good enough to lift but please get your own life. Mine’s not incredibly exciting and with your beautiful photo (you could be a stock photo!), I’m sure your life is rich in experiences.

I noticed you’re a Sales Manager at empower eLearning Solution (note: you’re missing the ‘s’, it’s actually empower eLearning Solutions). This would have been another reason I may have accepted your friend request.

Wow! I just noticed you gain about 25 friends a day ( I read that’s the max allowed on Facebook).

Anyway, I wanted to contact you so went to your contact information:

Empower (eLearning Solutions, Health Compliance, Online HIPPAA Compliance Training, LMS, etc.) She’s also the administrator for emPower’s Facebook group.
Mediscribes (a medical transcription company)
Save Green World (a Google custom search engine)
Cardioscribes (medical transcription)
Oncoscribes (medical transcription)
Uroscribes (medical transcription)
Nephroscribes (medical transcription)
Dragon elearning (speech recognition training for lawyers)
Etsbpo (medical transcription)

You must be moonlighting as a transcriptionist. Those college loans can be a bitch, I know.

I noticed that you do little more on your profile than post marketing messages, “friend” people and accept birthday wishes . Happy 23rd! Because you don’t respond to things like “Thanks for connecting. Delighted to see so many mutual friends” (from a mutual friend), I’m afraid I’ll have to remove you from my friends. I’m here for conversations not marketing messages.

I noticed your Twitter handle no longer exists. That saves me the time of removing you from my followers as well.

I noticed today you posted something about Mediscribes and that’s totally fine but again, I’m not interested in marketing messages and don’t have a need for transcription services.

Thanks though for that post because that’s what made me check out your profile.

I’ve sent you a message about the bio thing and asked empower to contact me. Nothing yet. Anxiously awaiting to hear from you.

Best of luck in your future endeavors-

Janet

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