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The Art Of Saying No

Conflicting priorities. New initiatives or opportunities. Emergencies or unexpected problems. The list goes on and all are things that can cause you to feel overwhelmed and like you’re going to drop the ball (or several balls). It doesn’t have to be that way, though, if we say a word many of us simply don’t use enough: “no.” In this blog I’ll share some foundational elements that, when in place, will help you say no and some communication strategies to do so.

 

The reasons you may avoid saying no vary and include:

  • Not wanting to disappoint someone
  • Not feeling it’s your “place” to say no
  • Your “people-pleasing” nature makes “yes” the main word in your vocabulary
  • The request being asked probably does fall under your role or job responsibilities
  • You don’t trust others to do the work with the quality or in the manner that you would complete the task
  • You worry your value will diminish if someone else excels at what you turned away
  • And more!

The challenge is that when you don’t say no, you often end up disappointing someone by dropping balls or turning ...

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To the Givers Go the Spoils: The Hidden Dimension of Successful Networking

Networking III
Shift your networking orientation from getting to giving and your long term success is assured.

It’s a proven fact that those with the best networks usually get the most job opportunities, the fastest promotions and the top salaries. Yet building a great personal network is not as easy as many think. Recent research confirms what I’ve found to be true in my own business: effective networking is more about giving than getting.

Adam Grant of Wharton, the hottest organizational researcher of his generation, shatters the myth that greed is the path to success. With personal research as well as an exceedingly knowledgeable base of research on career success, Grant reveals how and why you don’t need to be a selfish asshole to succeed in this life. And the research generalizes readily and applies directly to successful networking.

As Grant tells the story in the April McKinsey Quarterly, a team of Harvard psychologists “invaded” the US intelligence system after the tragic events of 9/11. They ranked the 64 different intelligence groups from best to worst and identified what they assumed were the factors driving a unit’s effectiveness. After ...

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Confessions of a Bossy Woman

Even the most assured person needs an occasional boost

Even the most assured person needs an occasional boost

Back in my college days, one of the requirements for my psychology degree was to complete a one-semester practicum out in the “real world”. I chose to work with three- and four-year olds in a daycare center.

After about a month at the center, I had proven that I could work with the kids independently for short periods of time. One day, as I was busy leading a group activity, the daycare director, John, walked in to observe. After we finished up, John walked over to me and said, “You know what? You’re bossy.”

Me, bossy? And with small children, no less? What kind of monster was I? John must have seen the stricken look on my face because he cracked a smile and said, “I like that in a person. You need to take charge of these kids. Bossiness isn’t always a bad thing.”

Indeed. I’m the eldest child in my family so I got lots of practice bossing around my two brothers when we were growing up. It started early and clearly, was still evident during my early twenties.

Over the years, I’ve learned to shape my bossiness into something more useful, like assuredness. ...

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10 Quotes To Work By

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The Road Ahead

 

Quotes can have a wonderful way of reminding you of what is deep and important in your life. I like to think of quotes as guiding principles – reflections of values – actively lived or lying dormant waiting to be rekindled. We put quotes on walls and desks for a reason. Social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and the new Queen of the block, Pinterest prominently feature quotations to address every facet of life. Quotes are snippets of borrowed stories we’d like to realize in our lives. Using quotations to inspire and enrich our work lives can energize and revive our sometimes weary spirits.

Here are 10 of my favorites:

1. “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”Albert Einstein

There are several variations of this well-known quote by Albert Einstein, but this one is my favorite. It’s been a long-time mantra for my work because it reminds me that the process of learning is continuously evolving. Of that we can be sure. Even when we are stuck in old mindsets, life’s experience will undoubtedly show us sometime new. But I ...

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Are You Scuffling for Talent? Welcome to Geezer World!

I have heard that a lot of companies are having trouble finding the talent they need these days. I would love to help them solve their problem but they seem to have a problem with me. I am 66 years old and am not looking for full time employment!

 

These days most mornings I am usually up between 7 and 8 unless it is the weekend and then I’ll sleep in until 9. I get up, head downstairs, feed the first cat, heat the water for coffee, uncover the parrot and scratch his head. Gotta scratch his head or he starts yelling!

 

Once the water gets hot I make a cup of coffee for myself and a cup of decaf for my wife, go out to the garage to bring in the other cat, (he has night terrors!) and get his breakfast then take the decaf upstairs to my wife where she has usually started her work day on her laptop while still in bed.

 

Back downstairs I check the morning news ~ usually three or four websites each day and maybe a favorite blog or two. Being on the west coast gives me the advantage of knowing that both business and politics are well underway by the time I get going so there is almost always something to entertain me at the start of the day.

 

By ...

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Liability or Asset - Yahoo's Marissa Mayer Edict

It has been an interesting week between Marissa Mayer's clamp down on telecommuters at Yahoo and Sheryl Sandberg's pitch that women sabotage their own careers.In both arenas there seems to be a criterion missing. That criterion is how do you view your human capital in your organization - are they a liability or are they an asset? Let's look at the two events separately:

Marissa Mayer contends that in order to make Yahoo more productive she wants all human capital assets under one roof. Ms. Mayer please come clean and admit that the real reason you issued the edit is because you are still operating in the command and control model which firmly believes that a productive employee is one that is in a see all, hear all environment. You know who you are, the non-engaged employee who can not be trusted to complete the requirements of his employment contract. I understand that a recent staff meeting that you were criticized for hiring only the elite. That you have added added steps to the process which lowers the efficiency of your hiring process, which should be centered around identifying the best person for the job, in the right place at the right time for the right ...

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Keep democracy in education

I liken our dominant educational structure as the offspring of a shotgun wedding between industrialists who needed literate workers to operate their machinery, and progressives who wanted to lift up the common person from poverty and drudgery. It wasn’t an easy marriage, and the children are a tad dysfunctional now. The union was never able to clearly identify the guiding principle of education. One book that has influenced many of my opinions on public education is Kieran Egan’s, The Educated Mind: How Cognitive Tools Shape our Understanding. Egan says that Western education is based on three incompatible principles, where all three can never be achieved in a single system.

  1. Education as Socialization (age cohorts, class groupings, team sports)
  2. Education as learning about Truth & Reality, based on Plato (varied subjects, academic material, connection to culture)
  3. Education as discovery of our nature, based on Rousseau (personal sense-making, teacher as facilitator)

If you put emphasis on one of these principles, the others get ignored. The industrialists would have preferred education as socialization and the progressives would have ...

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Recognizing a Multigenerational Workforce this Employee Appreciation Day

In order to help you quickly identify generational differences as well as motivators and themes for recognizing employees of every generation appropriately, Michael C. Fina, a leading provider of global employee recognition and incentive programs, launched a new infographic: “Appreciating A Multigenerational Workforce”. The infographic allows managers and leaders to quickly identify generational differences as well as motivators and themes for appreciating employees of every generation appropriately.

“While it is important to recognize employees every day, Employee Appreciation Day reminds us to refocus our workforce appreciation efforts,” said Ashley Fina, president of Michael C. Fina. “With four generations working together, each has distinct characteristics that organizations need to take into account when appreciating their employees.”

According to Michael C. Fina, generational differences include:

  • Traditionalists (1922-1945) – Want their actions to connect with the good of the company. Recognition should hone in on service and loyalty with awards, trophies and plaques.
  • Baby Boomers (1946-1964) – Need to ...
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11 Ways to Be More Mindful in Your Work Relationships

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Do you know about the marshmallow test?

No, it’s not about seeing how many marshmallows you can toast and eat by the fire. It’s the classic Marshmallow Study conducted in 1968 at Stanford University by clinical psychologist Walter Mischel that became one of the longest running experiments in psychology. The initial study examined 600 children to see how they would behave when given a marshmallow and left alone. Each child was given a choice: wait for the experimenter and you get two marshmallows or just eat the marshmallow while you wait.

It’s fascinating to watch some of the children’s strategies for handling the choice. Subsequent follow-ups demonstrated that the children who waited – in other words, delayed gratification – performed better later in life with academics, attention, stress management and relationships than kids who rang the bell first (ate the marshmallow).

You may be wondering – what’s a 1968 study about children and marshmallows have to do with workplace relationships? While “mindfulness” was not on any scientist’s radar screen back then, the marshmallow study speaks to early patterns of ...

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If you take this assignment......

Those of you who are old enough to remember the TV Show from the 1960"s staring Peter Graves- Mission Impossible will remember that every show began with the following phrase:

Good morning, Mr. Phelps..... Your mission, Jim, should you decide to accept it, is to make XXXXXXXXXX. As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim.

So here is my question to you this Monday, are you ready to take the assignment before you? Are you ready to truly take responsibility for hiring the right person for the right position at the right time and at the right location?

In reading some of the magazines which come across my desk recently I found two very interesting articles The first was in the January 2013 issue of Mobility Magazine which is the trade association journal for the Corporate Mobility industry. The article reported the results of the 2012 Global Workforce Symposium's Benchmarking Survey which indicated that when asked if their organizations were facing shortages in qualified talent for critical jobs or roles, the attendees ...

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